I don't believe in an "entitlement" attitude, far from it. But there are some things a person has to stand up and say they won't settle for less than...
Any man who wants me to be exclusive with him (and that's the only way I do things)had better make me feel like I'm the most important woman in his life. Granted, there's room to temper it by how long we've known each other: until there's a "formal commitment" of whatever sort, I fully grant anyone related by blood, or even marriage under reasonable circumstances, to get priority over me.
Still, if a man feels that I'm only worthy of the occasional IM, text, or phone call once or twice a week, it shows me what my value is to him. On the other hand, if a man makes me feel as if he'd move heaven and earth to make sure I didn't get hurt, acts as if it would be wrong for him to ignore me if he could avoid it, pays me compliments that I didn't fish for and generally makes me feel as if there could be no doubt that he cares for me...factors such as looks tend to become much less important. And none of these things has anything to do with money being spent...but when he does that, too, it's icing on the cake, or gravy on the biscuits!
I'm sorry, no one is going to try to make me feel guilty for asking for what I need. Not when they can't express honestly what they need, when asked point-blank. And not when trust has already been compromised.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You are absolutely correct.
ReplyDeleteA man that shows that he's PREPARED to PROVIDE everything he can and should to the woman he professes to care about is one worth investing time and emotional energies in.
One that does it in a kinda-sorta, not really sure if I want more than a quickie now and then kind of way, not so much. For what it's worth. It's blatantly disrespectful.
We as women seek someone who is an equal, as a provider to our nurturer. (By the way, we all nurture in different ways... as men provide in different ways.) If he can't be bothered to even look out for you and is too "stressed" (I use the term lightly) to think of you, he's more afraid of no one loving HIM, than he is of not being able to love someone else.
And I think I heard it best from a sermon, maybe. How can you give love when you've never really accepted it? You can't GIVE what you don't HAVE.
The one laying the guilt on doesn't have it, and can't give it. Until that having changes, he's out of luck.