Positivity

These days, many more of the people I know were initially met via the Internet, in one way or another. The people I have met in person, or talked to on the phone at the very least, are so supportive and positive and complimentary, it's almost more than I can accept. I didn't grow up with compliments. I felt the need to justify my existence all of my childhood, mostly the only way I could comprehend: good grades in school, obedient behavior. Other than that, I never felt good enough unless I had a way to objectively prove it: here's my report card; hey, I've never been in real trouble; I keep my room clean; etc.

Now I'm getting old enough that I realize those things are way past valid. And I've learned a bit, here and there, about people, trust, honesty, self-esteem, and a lot of related issues.

Here are a few things I know to be facts: no one who has ever spent any time actually getting to know me has not ended up liking me; there are people who do dislike me, and they know so little about me and most of what they "know" is lies they believed from others or told themselves; people who have no reason at all to lie to me, who have proven themselves to be honest, tell me that I am a good person, and even call me beautiful and other things that make me feel great.

I must reiterate again, I do not think more highly of myself than anyone. I don't believe anyone should. But I will also say that the best people I've ever met are the ones who make an effort to make other people feel good. God bless 'em.

I used to be more negative about people in general, but lately, I think it's only the small percentage of crummy people who account for most of the frustration, and that a lot more people than I used to give credit are decent, if you give them a chance.